I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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