If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
sex in a hospital.. check
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
