Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
