We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
