There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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