if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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