so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
