Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
