So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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