i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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