I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
