the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize