i just had sex bonerless
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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