Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
