May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
