HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Duck Duck Cougar?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
