I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
