community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
