Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
