Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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