I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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