I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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