We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
