I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
