I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
