Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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