I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
