yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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