You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
