We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
