so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
