I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
