did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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