Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
