I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
