Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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