my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
