i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
