So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
