You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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