She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
