last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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