I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
