Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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