She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
