Apparently you make a good broom.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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