u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
