K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the doctor said was why
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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