She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
