just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
