Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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