Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
