I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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