Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
A+ Viking dick
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