You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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