I puked a lego.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
