mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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