I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize