your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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