Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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