Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
